Let Me Feel the Lack

Burn me with your absence, with the hell of losing you.
Fill my veins with shadows from the river that you knew,
That you loved like all your lovers, with a fire in your soul:
Fill my skin with wind and lightning, and a dream to make me whole.

Haunt me with your music, with the clouds across the sky
Wind your name around me like a flaming lullaby.
Blind me with a flood of sunlight, ’til I think I see your face
Just beneath my dazzled eyelids, like a broken bit of grace.

Soak my dreams with nightmares that I wake to find are true.
Give me full force each waking the ache of losing you.
Sign this loss upon me like a kiss of lye, a burning brand:
Let me keep you with me always in the only way I can.

Don’t let the lesions heal; never fill this empty space.
Hang grief sharp and keening round the mem’ry of your face.
Don’t let me forget your darkness, and the wings you never wore
Let me wake with feathers in my teeth and blood above the door.

Build around me towers with the power of your name.
Let the river tell me it will never be the same — 
That it mourns you as a brother, as a lover, as the soul
That I needed for the dream that now will never make me whole.