XV.

The first films or videos I ever saw (besides what I glimpsed in Walmart) were animated Disney films, which we watched occasionally in first grade. Every now and again, we were allowed to watch one half of a film. If conditions were met, the following week we’d get to watch the second half. Behavioral bribery at its finest. Initially, I couldn’t understand what I was seeing. I didn’t know what was happening. I had no framework for the black box on a tall stand that emitted a madness of color and light and sound. I don’t remember which film I saw first. It was probably Beauty and the Beast or Aladdin. I remember finding the films overwhelming, especially huge trippy musical numbers like “Be Our Guest”. It was crazy, surreal, manic… and way too much information for my brain to handle at that fast pace. I tried to process it, memorize it, understand it, but it was fleeting and elusive in a way that books and real life weren’t. I sat in my little chair, soaked in wonder and confusion.