Song of Exultation

I changed my name so that it would taste upon your tongue like the freshness of water upon the feet after a long day of walking.

Circling you I say too much — for now I will hold words in my fists like precious secrets that released could prove to be deadly — what do I know, it might be true.

What life I have, let it gather in my soul like a fountain of possibility. What dreams I have, wind around my heart so tightly that with every outward beat the constriction cuts me like a knife in the lungs, a promise, a reminder of what you will someday mean to me.

Walk just apart from me, withholding so much, until I force you against a wall and demand you give me everything, even all the lies that you formerly refused to utter.

Like water moving, take me beside the mountains until I learn the way your hands yearn for silence. Until our hunger for knowing becomes a struggle that brings us to each other.

Then out of my foolishness, out of all the errors I make, out of all my long-held delusions, find in me the purity that burns for the fire of cleansing. Find in me the strength to stand stripped of everything in the rawness of being… find in me the courage to become what is true.

O my love, stand before the world knowing that you too are such a person… you too have wind in your hair and the flame of the earth under your feet.

Conflict brings worlds into existence; beauty is the presence of what will soon be gone. Creation dances with ephemerality, and the certainty of defeat is what makes the struggle sweet and fills the heart with the joy of battle.

Were you eternal, I could not love you with the desperate wound that I do — were you eternal, the spaces between us would not hold me with their agony. Exult, exult that we are mortal, exult that we will die. Exult that today we live! Exult that we bleed and kill each other with our insatiable longing.