every time I fall apart

every time I fall apart you put me
back together differently
the first time you picked up
the shattered jewel-pieces of
my heart and made a kaleidoscope
and after several years we even
learned to interpret the world
through it
the second time you used the shards to
slit your wrists

the third time we dined on
heart-flesh and your wide grin revealed
muscle fragments caught
between your teeth
the fourth time we went up the mountain
and you said this time we’ll stay here
until you learn to keep yourself together
no matter what happens but still
I scattered to the winds

the fifth time you said
that’s enough
the sixth time you made
me into a cathedral
stained glass windows to my soul
silently watching over
strains of Ave Maria for a Maria who
I didn’t know

the way you loved her was almost enough for me
to love her and you and everyone

the seventh time I made myself a labyrinth
you traced the paths but every turn
brought you back to yourself
the eighth time I emptied myself
into everything
and everything turned back into me
we started over